Walking my beach this morning I found myself contemplating stability.

The sand was firm the tide was running out and our footprints were the first in the firm sand. I noticed how small Harry's paw prints were, his pads barely leaving an imprint, whereas mine will still be evident this afternoon.

I feel blessed to have all my sensory and physical faculties - to see and hear my surroundings. Each day I remind myself to notice the sights sounds and scents around me as I send a mental 'thank you note to the Universe' for the gift of this environment to walk in each day.

I sat for a while and contemplated the importance of stability. A stable relationship, stable employment, stable finances.

I noticed a boat offshore - early fishing activity perhaps. As the tide moved the vessel I noticed it was a two person canoe; it takes co-operation and balance to fish from a canoe in open water.

I thought more about life and balance. When my work or relationship or finances become unstable I don't always react to change as well as I would like to.

There are often patterns in our lives - work relationship financial - which sometimes we don't recognise until years down the track from our initial potentially defining experience.

The first relationship that ends sadly, the first employer that doesn't value our potential, the first financial decision that costs us dearly.

How we interpret these events, what messages we give ourselves, how we feel, and most importantly how we act as a consequence can lay the blueprint for the rest of our lives.

You know the script. You've heard it being whispered in your head. "I'm not good enough". "It won't last". "This always happens". "it's not worth the risk".

Sometimes we remember when the first lines were drawn on our life map sometimes we don't. Sometimes because "the body keeps the score" (my favourite message from Bessel van der Kolk years ago ), all we have are feelings and physical responses to experiences without consciously knowing why.

Being mindful has helped me deal with those creeping negative thoughts and rising feelings of anxiety. My own version of "fight or flight" whenever I felt threatened emotionally.

Mindfulness based CBT - in my case self administered - has helped me. Acceptance of my feelings and commitment to changing patterns of behaviour (ACT) also helped me be more kind to myself, and most recently I found my way to Yoga.

I can't claim to be a Yoga devotee yet but I have certainly found my happy exercise place - mind and body balance - in my case the foundation on which to layer the other psychological building blocks I've positioned around me. Yes - I can honestly say Yoga helps me feel more physically and emotionally stable.

Analogies aside, changing our responses and behaviours is harder than changing a relationship or a job or making your fortune.

We take ourselves with us everywhere we go.

So if there is something you need to change about your life, start with "what can I change about about myself?".

If I want to be happier what do I need to change?

Once you can identify what that is then everything is possible.

KarenPS ~

Tulip time and those "I notice ... " moments are everywhere - mindfulness moments

Harry and my footprints in the firm sand on a magic morning in Spring on our beach.

A little more stability please